Chuck is Shamwow! Pirates are NOT played out

Chuck Update - 4/08/09 - 4:09pm
me and chirag are dropping out of law school to become pirates. who wants to join our scurvey crew?

My Thoughts
My gut reaction to this was first to cringe, and then to puke, and now my bowl of Smacks is ruined. Is it possible that Chuck thought this would get a laugh? IS IT??? Was there some other motivation behind posting this? I need your help Chuck readers, why would Chuck say this? Is he commenting on the U.S. crew that was recently taken hostage by Somali pirates? Do they post news stories like that on perezhilton.com?


Chuck Update - 4/09/09 - 12:03am
will be up all night jamming to tunes and drinking coffee, and dammit tomorrow my dishes will be done, my apt will be clean, and my outline will be done!

My Thoughts
God. When you break it down this actually sounds like a HORRIBLE night, but somehow Chuck makes it sound SOOOOO good! 1. Jamming to tunes is always good right? 2. I love coffee, so do most people! 3. It's always refreshing to have a clean apartment right?

YET, he posted this at 1203 am. I have drank coffee at 1203 am before, it's a horrible idea unless you're picking someone up from the airport at 500am and you just don't want to sleep beforehand. And jamming to tunes, cleaning, and outlining while he's drinking it? Is this going to be like a fucking montage from Mrs. Doubtfire where he is dancing around while he's vacuuming and making the kids do their homework with Aerosmith blasting in the background? I REALLY hope that Chuck posts a video of what happened on this night! Still, somehow I get the feeling that Chuck is NOT aware that the people around him know that his life does not play out just like a really great movie.

So Chuck, stop with the goddamn exclamation marks. "Jamming to tunes" while cleaning and doing homework SUCKS. And who wants to drink coffee after midnight? NOBODY. It's a terrible idea. Oh and I love how you said "Dammit...." those things will be done, like they are so pressing that they require a coffee-filled all-nighter. How is that dishwasher treating you Chuck? Remember that you will need 1 cup of coffee for every 1 minute of unloading, or otherwise you will just run out of energy! Oh and don't forget that the Beauty and the Beast sippy cups go on the shelf above the Barack Obama commemorative plates!